A colorful field trip

Wooooohoooo!! I have been dying to go here for years and years and years!!! A few weeks ago Chris texted me and told me to pick a day/plan a trip to the Crayola Factory!!! I would have picked last week, but I didn’t want his knee to bug him too horribly. So yesterday was the day. (The other reason I chose yesterday is because it was my mommy’s birthday. She is a crayon-o-holic!!)

I can not even begin to tell you how much fun we had!! It is very hard to pick just a few pictures to share with ya’ll when I took 93 totally fun ones!! When we arrived we decided to sit down and see the how crayons are made show first…very fun!! We watched them make red crayons and purple markers! The rest of the Crayola Factory is like one big make your own craft project!!! We made dinosaur eggs, cards, did finger painting, painted with melted crayon wax, designed a tee shirt, played with modeling clay, made puppets and so much more!!

I had two favorite parts. First the puppet making. I love me a good craft project. I should have taken a good picture of my masterpiece when I was finished, but here is one of Avery and I making our puppets:

My other favorite part was this area where you danced and it put your image, in colors of course, on the wall. It was so neat!!

There was also a huge area of glass walls where you could write on them!! Writing on the wall!! Mom never lets me do that at home! Chris had fun having everyone stand on the other side so he could draw them!


Delaney wouldn’t stay still for hers:

Upstairs is the Canal Museum. To be honest we all rolled our eyes a little, but had heard it was fun so we went for it. There were several fun things to do!
Learning how boats travel through canals:

Getting our pictures taken on (or in) trains:



And everyone’s favorite, playing in itty bitty pieces of rubber:

A great deal of fun was had by all!! Thank you CLAD for taking us along!!!!

Finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

Saturday night I had one of those nights when you just don’t want to go to bed. I had Sunday off, so there was no reason to have to, we could sleep in all day if we wanted!!

At 10:39am I heard “99 Red Balloons”, Lyz’s ringer. I answered with a groggy hello, and was surprised to hear Chris’s voice. He wanted to talk to Jenn. He told her that he had a mission, should we choose to accept it. We had one hour to shower and get dressed. When we were ready, get in the car and text for our next assignment. Don’t worry, there will be a pot of gold at the end of the journey.

Once in the car we were given directions. At the end of each direction I would text Lyz and she would update me with a new set of directions. After awhile it hit me where we were going. It was like Lyz had read my mind and texted me saying “I can’t believe Jenn hasn’t figured it out yet” I told her I thought I had. Finally we got the direction to look up…there in front of us was the CLADmobile parked in front of GOLDen Corral. Jenn had been dying to go there forever. We went to one while we were in Virgina and they have been playing commercials on our local tv’s for a few months now. The closest one to us is an hour away and CLAD had gotten us there!!

But…isn’t there always a but? It was closed for remodeling!! We pulled next to each other in the parking lot to discuss our options. One thing was very clear, we were all very hungry. Since we were over an hour from home, and close to an area attraction that I have been suggesting we take Avery for awhile, we decided to be adventurous and head to Cabela’s.

For those of you who don’t know what Cabela’s is, it is an outdoors store. I grew up watching my dad be so excited when the Cabela’s catalog came. There was only one retail store, located in Nebraska. If you couldn’t go to the store, you had to purchase from the catalog. Many moons ago my best friend from high school and I drove from Michigan to Utah. We stopped at the exit for Cabela’s and took our picture in front of it to make our fathers jealous. A few years ago they started to branch out and put a store in Dundee, Michigan. My dad, Marshall, Jenn and I made a trip there and I thought it was so amazing! They had a whole river running through the store stocked with local fish breeds and so many different animals (stuffed of course).

So, we all piled back in our cars and got back on the road. While driving we saw a sign that said 130 miles to New York City. For a brief moment we considered changing course and heading there!! But we decided to save our money and continue on. Imagine our udder surprise (and slightly creeped outness) when right there on the exit was the Pot of Gold diner. It was meant to be! We stopped at Cracker Barrel for lunch and headed to Cabela’s.

The one here in Pennsylvania isn’t quite as big as the one in Michigan, but we still had fun wandering around. Picture time!!!

(I want to mention this is a WOLVERINE not a badger. Wolverines can eat Nittany Lions)

A stuffed bear:

Avery, posing as a stuffed bear:

A stuffed moose:

Me, posing as a stuffed moose:

Delaney got a kick out of the coon skin hat:

Adventures are always fun. And this trip was proof that you may not always end up where you intended, but as long as you have people you love with you, the journey is always a blast!!!

Mingo Monday

In December I received two mingos via mail. It is so exciting to get cute little mingos from people!! One I have met in real life, Joelene. She came to Lancaster for her family vacation and stayed at The Hotel. She brought me a flamingo then too!! She is trying to buy my love I tell you.

Isn’t she beautiful!! She’s a lot like me, right down to the perfect amount of mingotackness. She even has my blue eyes!! She is hanging in my office and makes me smile quite often.

The second mingo came to me from Santa’s Elf. The package said that the elf lived in Kansas. I was so confused. So I posted on facebook thanking whoever my loverly flamingo sender was. And she came clean!! So, just because your package says it came from Kansas, doesn’t mean it did. This mingo came from Lori, who lives in New York. You all “know” Lori. She is the wonderful angel on earth that sent me huge amounts of Follistim. She has a beautiful daughter who I simply love seeing pictures of!! I have not met her in real life…yet. I know we will someday, I owe her so much! Her mingo is also in my office, and also has a lot in common with me.

You see, it is only 12 more sleeps and an overnight drive until we leave for Florida!!! Soon enough my hiney will be in my happy place, looking for seashells on the beach!! (and buying all the flamingos I can get my grubby hands on)

Thank you so much Lori and Joelene!! The mingos have come to a very good home, I promise to take wonderful care of them!

Ok, fine, I’ll eat your dust.

It is a strange world that Jenn and I and several of my readers live in.  It is a world in which time has come to a complete standstill.  We are all frozen in place, waiting for the moment that will change everything again and again.  We live in a world where we are waiting, sometimes rather  impatiently, sometimes angrily, sometimes with our eyes closed pretending it will all just go away, ignoring the obvious.

For me the awakening that the world was moving forward without me happened about a year ago.  A lovely young lady, lets call her Rose,  who had been through 5 miscarriages announced she was pregnant.  Now, know that I rejoiced along with the rest of the world!!  I yelled hooray from the tops of many towers, cheering to the world that she was having another baby.  Yes, you read me right.  ANOTHER baby.  You see, she and I got pregnant together in September 2007.  In June of 2008 she gave birth to a beautiful little boy.  I call him Shadow.  He is who I look to when I want to know what Blue could be doing.

I’ve been told by many people that I am odd.  I don’t cringe at pregnancy announcements.  Wait, that is a lie.  There are some that do make me cringe.  They usually involve “accidental” pregnancies from people who I don’t respect.  But for the most part I take find great joy in pregnancy and birth announcements.  Sure, I can tell you that walking out of a restaurant last week I counted 8 pregnant bellies, but I don’t really have a fear of the belly, unless the woman appears to be under the age of 19.

When Rose announced this new pregnancy I was over the moon.  Not only had she realized her dream of a child, she was going to realize it again!  I found it inspiring.  I became overjoyed that maybe she had found the key to it all, and someday, someday soon, I would find it too.  He was born recently.  I again rejoiced.

But I also started thinking about how strange it is that time does move on, even when my world has stopped.  Through my blog readings I have come across several bloggers that were just starting to try when I joined the community in January 2008.  I am amazed at the numbers that have now announced they are getting ready to try for number two.  There has even been two pregnancy announcements.  Now please, don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for them all.

It just leaves me sitting here thinking about how time has simply stopped for me.  When we are out with CLAD I often sit and think of how things could have been.  For example at the Christmas tree lot.  I thought of Delaney and Blue running around together chasing cats, climbing boxes and squealing with delight.  They would have made such a perfect couple don’t you think?  I do.  I think about it an awful lot.  A marriage between them would have sealed our little mismatched family forever.  Lyz and I could take turns being the “Awful Mother-in-Law”.

But that can’t happen because time is standing still.  It doesn’t move forward.  Sure, we age, we make plans, we do things.  But I haven’t moved from this spot.  I may never move on.  Time may always be locked here.  Never moving into reality with the rest of the world.  But I have to tell you, even if it doesn’t ever start moving again, the five people that I have holding my hands, pulling me through the murkieness, I wish you all could have five just like them.

I CAN GET PREGNANT FOR ONLY $39!!!

Why on earth didn’t someone tell me this sooner???????

I am a facebook addict. In case you aren’t one too, some background information. Along the right side of the screen they put little advertisements. I’m not sure how they “know” me so well. I often find advertisements for clinics that do ivf, or how to lose weight. My favorites are all the ones that say “Are you 32 today? If so you’ve won a SEVEN MILLION DOLLAR WALMART GIFTCARD!” I guess they don’t know me as well as I thought, I hate Walmart. Make that advertisement for Target and you just might have a deal.

Last night while I was playing (Countrylife if you must know) I looked over and saw one that said “Having problems getting pregnant, we can help you in one month.” I have to admit I was intrigued. Do I know that it is utter bs, yes. But I was writhing in pain from the gym (20 mins at 2.7 speed with 1.5 incline on the treadmill, 20 minutes of weightlifting and an hour of deep water aerobics–go me!) so I had nothing better to do with my time.

Click here if you really want to know how to get pregnant in less than a month.

It is a set of books. Books that promise:

• To get you pregnant even if you suffer from both male and female infertility (how many people suffer from both?)
• To get you pregnant even if you have blocked tubes.
• Get you pregnant holistically.
• Get you pregnant even in your late 40’s

All of this without the help of drugs, IUI’s or IVF’s.  In three months 27 out of 35 women were pregnant!!  Amazing!!

I will also admit that I almost bought the book.  Not because I believe any of the 16 success stories (I mean, I’m sure they are all true, but I don’t believe this book got them pregnant), but because I am simply DYING to know what someone can put in a book to get me pregnant “with healthy babies”.

Oh wait, it isn’t JUST a book.  There are six bonues.  Plus, purchase now and you get a free month of therapy!!!!

Awesome.  Cause I’m gonna need that damn therapy once I realized I wasted $39 on some paper.

Sing it with me

(I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee, won’t my mommy be so proud of me. I’m now cursed to have this in my head the rest of the day. But that is the song I hear in my head when I am proud of myself for something.)

We have gone to the gym every day this week. On Monday I did a mile on the treadmill on a 1.0 incline in twenty minutes. I was on cloud nine I was so proud of me. The last few minutes I thought I was going to die because my heel hurt, I knew a blister was going to happen. I am the girl who has worn nothing but Crocs for three years (except to funerals, I have a pair of dress shoes for funerals). I must tell you that I was even prouder of myself when I got to the locker room to change for water aerobics and looked down at my sock to see it soaked in blood. I am a pain wuss normally, so I was quite proud of me for hanging on for those last few minutes to complete my mile.

Tuesday I had all intentions of repeating that mile. I hopped up on the treadmill (heel covered in bandaids and tall socks) and was instantly in pain. “You can ignore it” I told myself. Five minutes later I realized my head was pounding because I was gritting my teeth so bad. So, I quit. And was less proud of myself.

But, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we have done deep water aerobics all three nights. Monday I was was all excited. It kicked my arse. If you think that water aerobics is easy, well I spit on you. At least there was a lot of laughter as Jenn, Joni and I all did flips and twists and turns while trying to balance a volleyball between our knees and do crunches. Tuesday it kicked my arse even harder. Lyz joined us and I warned her to pee before she got in the pool. We laughed some more and by the time I got home I was chanting “I feel my core!!”. We decided to give our bodies a break for Wednesday night and do shallow.

Come Wednesday morning I could barely move. I whined and moaned and rolled around in the bed trying to be comfortable. Jenn mentioned that maybe we should take the night off completely and the most interesting thing happened. I got cranky!!! It took me awhile to figure out the root of the cranky, but I realized that I really wanted to go to the gym!! So we got up and went. I am so proud of us!! No more being enablers to each other 🙂

And even better, we still did deep!! It was the hardest of all three nights I believe. Jenn and I even stayed after because there was this one part I could not do and she helped me figure it out and be able to do it so I am ready the next time they say “Stand on the dumbbell!!”

I’ve also started a journal. From now until we get back from Florida I am simply keeping track of what activities I do, and how I feel about the day in general. When we get back from Florida I will start tracking my weight. I’m excited. Cover of People Magazine, HERE I COME!!!

Mingo Monday

Mingo’s with ab’s of steel.

These are my other gym buddies. Other than Jenn, Lyz and Joni, and occasionally Avery, Delaney and Chris.

They go with me and keep me company. The bag carries the stuff I need for water aerobics after my treadmill walking. The towel is to cover my big ole butt up on the way too and from the pool!!

Close up of the flamingo on the bag.

I believe I got the flamingo bag through Avon’s outlet catalog a gazillion years ago. The towel was a gift from B&K as part of my care package after we lost Honeydew.

FHFDC is a bit cranky

A conversation just had in the lobby

Guest: My wireless isn’t working.
FHFDC: What is happening?
Guest: I connect to the wireless and then it just fades away.
FHFDC: Your firewall isn’t letting you connect.
Guest: No, it is a problem with your wireless.
(now note, all weekend we have been having various internet problems, but as of this conversation everything is up and running)
FHFDC: To be honest, I’ve helped several people with that issue and you just have to turn the firewall off.
Guest: Stomps away mumbling that FHFDC is no help whatsoever.
FHFDC: Walks over to her office, grabs her laptop and turns it on. Laptop instantly connects to the wireless server. She sees Guest in the lobby and walks over to him. Did you figure it out? Mine seems to be working perfectly.
Guest: I got it working, I had to turn off my firewall. You should really tell people that could be a problem.
FHFDC: I’m glad you figured it out. **Walks away wishing she wasn’t so friendly so that she could have smacked him upside his bald head**

But will the anger ever stop??

In the last two weeks, two friends of friends have lost their babies.  One a set of beautiful twin girls, the other a handsome baby boy.

And while I grieve for them, I also find myself getting so tense and angry.

I know there was no bringing Blue back…buy why did they have to steal him from me all together??  Yes, the above two families have lost their children also, but I am so jealous of them for knowing what they looked like.  For being able to show pictures.  For that one thing my jaw is so tightly clenched right now that I fear it may never open.

Blue was technically considered a miscarriage.  Is it wrong that I tell people he was born still??

I’m rambling because I am at work and if I don’t get this all out of me I will cry and scream and throw a rage right here in the lobby.

If I could have just seen him.  If.  That is what it is all about isn’t it, the ifs?

Chicken

Last night we were supposed to do deep water aerobics and review it for Lyz.  We liked the shallow water aerobics, but thought that the deep water aerobics would be more challenging.  The shallow was lead by a great teacher and we though she was very nice and fun and she was just all around wonderful, so we felt a little guilty leaving her for the deep water, but we need to challenge ourselves right?

Right?  Right.  That is until we were changing in the locker room and there she was all happy to see us and excited that we had come for another class with her.  How do you say, um no, you didn’t challenge us enough??

Thankfully she teaches deep water aerobics on Monday nights, so we will try again then.

I would also like to note that my abs are killing me this morning.  Apparently she knew she needed to work us harder and she certainly did!!