My birthday is on Monday. I’m not all that interested in it this year. It doesn’t fall on a good day. Jenn has been trying to organize a party for me at the end of October, but I don’t want it anymore. I have other things going on in my head (they will be revealed, no worries) and just don’t have the interest that I did a few months ago. (Namely, if I can’t have the pink limo, it just isn’t any fun lol.)
It also isn’t falling on a good day because of the Jewish holiday of Sukkot. The holiday is actually happening now, but all the kids have off of school next week, so they are all converging on Lancaster. We field about 200 phone calls a day. And these are the most demanding people in the world. I used to give the Most Obnoxious Guest award to the bridge players…nope, this group makes them look lame. They aren’t exactly rude or mean, just very demanding and don’t understand why I can’t give them everything they want. I try, trust me. It is a million times easier to just give them what they want then explain that they can’t have it. I am not withholding 17 connecting rooms from them because I don’t like them or want to piss them off.
The phone call that prompted the bacon dress:
Mr. Man calls and books my last suite. I spend 27 minutes on the phone with him answering all of his questions on our Sukkah’s dimenions, kosher continental breakfast, how far we are from Amusement Park (next door, across the street?, no next door, right next door? yes, right next door, how long will it take me to walk there? a moment since we are right next door.)
Mr. Man calls and cancels the suite.
Mrs. Woman calls and books my last suite. I spend 37 minutes on the phone with her answering all of her questions.
Mr. Man calls and wants to rebook the suite. Does not understand why it is not longer available. Tells me I should have known that he really did want it.
By now I am 13 minutes late to punch out. We are big on punching out on time right now. I may have slammed down the phone (after booking Mr. Man into 3 rooms that are next to each other but do not connect, no I am not going to build connecting rooms for you.) And I may have yelled “I am so rubbing all of The Hotel’s door handles with bacon.”
That may have progressed to hmmmmmm, maybe Lady Gaga will let me borrow her meat dress.
Which totally progressed to “It’s my birthday and I’ll wear a bacon dress if I want to!!”
(for the record, I would never be so rude. I even wear my long hair up in respect to them and their we don’t look at women’s hairness.)