I’m so old

The very first time I came to Pennsylvania, I met my ex-wife’s best friend, and her nine month old son.

I got his graduation announcement in the mail.

How does that happen?

Yesterday was realllllly busy. One of those days where time is at a severe shortage, and there are traffic jams EVERYWHERE. It was stressful and anxiety causing.

And do you know what else it was?

Simply awesome.

The girls were amazingly helpful as I flew through the house getting everything ready for their dress rehearsal (Lyz was stuck in one of the many traffic jams happening in the county). The four of us (BAD and I) had an awesome time singing along to the Frozen soundtrack while we were stuck in our own traffic. We did four hours at dress rehearsal where we had so much fun laughing and giggling and breaking rules.

I also drove the kids home, because Lyz had the jeep, and well, the jeep and three kids just doesn’t work. On the way home Delaney was making all the shapes she could with her fingers. She was also a smidge cranky, so I was trying to make her laugh. We somehow ended up inventing a new game and were laughing so hard I almost had to pull over.

I also managed to get some deck time with my besty.

Yes. There are times when my facade starts to crack and I worry that I’m going to start sinking again. But somewhere along the way, I’ve learned how to swim. I see all of the positive things. I feel the love from those around me.

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Memorial Day

I will start by thank all of the men and women who have risked their lives or given their loves so that I can be free. I’m even more thankful this year.

When you work in a hotel, you become a slave to holidays. So, I worked.

Since it was just Lyz, Beckett and I, we didn’t make any plans for grilling out, or going out. We did meet up for a late lunch when I got off of work, and then did some shoe shopping.

We believe that this summer will be the summer of outside. Beckett is NOT impressed with having to be inside when the weather outside is so darn beautiful!! So when we got home, clothes were changed, sunscreen was applied, iced tea was poured, and butts and kindles were drug outside.

My favorite nephew also brought out a bag of frosted animal crackers and hopped up on my lap to snack.

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He also picked some flowers

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And as it got closer to bedtime, just chilled.

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Like I said, we made no plans to grill. But……all of the neighbors were. The smells of burgers and dogs on grills was overwhelming. So, Lyz and I threw together the quickest Memorial Day dinner ever. We had potato salad on hand, thanks to a coupon from my favorite deli. We quickly threw together some deviled eggs, hot dogs, and baked beans. Twenty minutes later, Chris arrived home from his softball tournament to a delicious dinner.

We cleaned up. Beckett took a sink bath. Chris got the honors of taking him to bed. I washed all the animal cracker frosting off my legs. The girls arrived home from an exciting day at HersheyPark. And went straight to bed (where they watched Once Upon A Time for an hour and a half until they were caught.) Lyz and I had an awesome back deck conversation where we translated dinosaur to whale. President Obama appeared on the wall (the leaves and moon caused a very cool shadow, sadly, I couldn’t take a good picture of it). And the adults then went to bed.

The next two weeks are going to be insanely busy. It’s dance recital week, so there are all types of rehearsals. There are softball games and swim practices. There are end if school year picnics, and hardly any staff at the hotel. Delaney will graduate from preschool. So spending this evening relaxing in the backyard was just what we needed to get ready.

Expect a lot of adorable pictures in the coming days!!

Sleeping Beauty

The very first Disney movie I remember seeing was Sleeping Beauty. I was about four or five. A friend of my mom’s wanted to go see it in the theater (a replay, I’m not that old) so she borrowed me. (I went on to babysit her children as I grew older <3)

I was instantly hooked on becoming a princess. The girly side of me was fully formed that day.

Sleeping Beauty has always beens favorite Disney movie. Yes, I have deep, mad love for Frozen, but I just can't replace my first love. I wanted "Once Upon A Dream" to be the first song me and my wife danced to at our wedding. I had decided that years before I met her. She ended up winning that battle, and I don't regret that, because maybe I will get remarried someday and I will get to use that song! Maybe my next wife has love for Aurora.

I also am in love with Maleficent. I tried to convince my ex-wife that we should name our future daughter that. I almost had her agreeing at one point too, but her nickname would then be Millie. Millie Milley just wouldn't work.

The new Maleficent movie comes out this week. Avery is simply DYING to see it with me. I'm really considering taking her. After all, an adult took me to see Sleeping Beauty because she loved it so much, it would really make it all come full circle. It won't be for a week or two though as we have a crap ton of stuff going on, but I will see it in the theater. Even if I have to go alone. That should show you how badly I MUST SEE THIS MOVIE.

I don't love Angelina Jolie, but I cannot think of a better actress to play the role. She is going to be amazing. I love listening to Lana Del Rey sing "Once Upon A Dream". Beckett and I danced to it before I put him to bed last night.

I'm soooooooo excited.
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Reflection

A year ago, I ignored the blog. Things were going down. I didn’t have the energy to think about the blog. I felt very alone and couldn’t see straight enough to write a cohesive post.

Is everything all better now, a year later. No. But it’s a new normal and each day carries new wonderful surprises.

I am going to try and make up for this time period of last year, and really put a bigger effort into the blog. Share the little wonderful things that happen each day.

This morning, Lyz, Beckett and I went out to breakfast. We giggled and joked. We ordered enough food for a small army and ate very little of it. We shall be eating for days.

It’s the little moments we all need to focus on. Beckett will never be this wonderful age again. Even though I tease him for not speaking English, I am going to miss the frustrated expression he gives me when he is PISSED I don’t know what he wants.

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He blows my mind when he steals my phone, swipes through, and finds Frozen quicker than I could.

I love my little nephew soooo much.

It is legal for me to get married in the state of Pennsylvania.

I had Beckett and Delaney when the ruling came through.

It was Lyz who broke the news to me.

I sat down on the kitchen floor and cried.

Delaney came running over and asked why I was crying.

They are happy tears, Delaney. A judge just said that it is ok for me to get married here in Pennsylvania.

Of course it’s okay for you to get married, Heidi. That’s what love is.

Delaney, above anyone else I know, has always understood this fact.

That’s what love is.

Her next statement was even better…

Can my flower girl dress just be a Rainbow Dash costume?

Yes, D. Whatever you want.

Good. So when are you getting married?

I don’t know, D, I have to meet someone who I love fully first.

As long as you don’t love them more than me.

I’m fairly certain that will never ever happen, D. I will never find someone who I share a love strong enough to ever be able to pull me away from these three children who own my heart. I may die without a unicorn, but I will always have love.

(Yes, there is no password on this post. I believe I am saying goodbye to the password for awhile. There may be posts that need protected, so don’t forget the password, but for now, I’m an open book.)