Even more ways….

Convince your friends to spin themselves dizzy…



Avery and I:

While I also got Jenn and Lyz on video doing this, I have given them a pass from being posted on the blog since they were brave enough to do “forward” rolls for the blogs sake.

(Today at 5pm I will consider myself 7dpo. So far, I actually don’t care. The negative approach is working. I’m not itching to be able to pee on a stick. I’m not totally evaluating everything that could possibly be a symptom. I do report things off and on to Jenn, so she can keep track. Super sore boobs, strange dreams, odd crampie things, and tonight, I smelled toilet water. This is something I remember very vividly from being pregnant with Blue, I used to cover my face whenever a toilet was flushed the smell was so overwhelming. I do chalk all of the above to trigger shot side effects. So there is the midpoint update for the two week wait. I am going to do my best to continue not caring for seven more days. If I break down and test, don’t worry, you all will be some of the first to know. After Lyz, and if positive, after I call my mother. She shouldn’t have to read on here that her daughter is pregnant!)


More ways to pass the TWW

Convince Avery that it would be fun if Aunt Jenn and Mommy attempt forward rolls.

(The “earthquake” at the end is me not being able to hold the camera steady while I laugh)

***Lyz would like me to include the comment that before you laugh at her and Jenn, you must first attempt your own forward roll. It seems to be very scary for an adult to do one, if you haven’t done one in a long time.***

Take a look at our garden!

Check out our garden!

Our pumpkins have started to really grow!

The cantaloupes finally look like cantaloupes:

The carrots have grown to ginormous proportions, and while I did not get a picture of an actual carrot, here is Jenn, Chris and Avery looking at them:

For dinner we had a bounty of food from the garden. Corn on the cob, green beans, cucumbers, and carrots (with butter and brown sugar of course). It was so yummy and everything tasted extra wonderful because we grew it all ourselves!!


Fun ways in which to pass the two week wait

I bought a new bra recently.  You may have noticed Jenn wearing it in that video I posted the other day.  When I pulled it out of the package I almost cried.  It was going to be too big.  I was so sad!  I had purchased it on sale and had been so excited!

Imagine my surprise when I tried it on, and it was a tad small.  It is a 44H.  I have huge boobs.  It may be what I am well known for among my friends.  One year when camping in the Poconos we all gave each other nicknames.  Mine was Chief Big Boobs.

So…I decided that for fun I would make others try on my bra and see what my boobs would look like on them.  Don’t my friends love me to put up with such things?

For reference, me in “the bra”:





(she thought it made a good peek-a-boo toy too)

And as a hammock for Delaney:

So…next time you need some help making the two week wait speed by, grab a funny piece of clothing and make others wear it!

Mingo Monday

I have chronically dry skin. It is horrible!! I go through bottles of lotion each month. And in the winter time?!? My knuckles and elbows bleed they become so dry and cracked. I actually get bored of putting lotion on. It becomes such a boring chore.

But now I seem to have found a solution!

A flamingo lotion dispenser!! He arrived in my mailbox last week as a gift from my favorite hotel guests Diane and Timmy!!
Look at his adorable face!:

His wings flap when you push down on the dispenser…too adorable! At least now I won’t be bored when I’m applying my lotion seven million times a day!

(I apologize for the poor quality photos. I’m in bed and didn’t feel like hunting down the real camera to take the pictures.)

Home Insemination

Thursday night we decided to do a practice.  Let me tell you, I almost peed on poor Jenn.  The whole thing was just too funny.  B and K were even kind enough to send an “instructional” video.  (It was rated G, don’t worry).  I so wish I could post it here so you all could laugh with me, but since B said I wasn’t allowed to post it on FaceBook, I doubt she would appreciate if I posted it here.

Jenn on the other hand made her own video:

See, I’m not the only person who is odd in our household!

Last night was the actual thing. I felt the ovulation pains start around 4pm…they lasted until about 10pm last night. Insemination was at 6pm. Good timing??

Now a photo essay:

Tank in a box:

Taking the lid off the tank:

Pulling the cane out of the tank:

Frozen swimmers:

The Inseminator (that is the actual name, not one I made up):

Thawed swimmers:

The swimmers have been released. Two weeks from now my period should be here. I’m taking the “There is no way I could possibly be pregnant” train of thought this time. All negativity all the time. Poor Lyz doesn’t have a negative thinking bone in her body. Every time I talk to her on the phone she gets all flustered having to say negative things. She is only allowed to “think positive” when I’m not looking. I know she has her fingers crossed every time she says “Well it isn’t like it is going to work, so I don’t know what you are fussing over.” Poor Lyz.

Thank you B and K for your great video and your awesome support!
Thank you Lyz for your negativity (and your crossed fingers while you do it)!

Love you both!!!

More about my weirdness

I know you all enjoyed my posts about my weird food habits, and the things I don’t like.

How about you get to know me just a litte more.  Dive a little deeper into just how strange Heidi is.


I have certain words that I do not like.  Yes, you read that right.  There are words that I don’t care for.  Some may make me gag even.  Chris likes to find ways to use some of the words all in one sentence, and then make this really foul noise just to see me dry heave.  Someday I will have to get some of Chris’s weird noises on film and share them with you.

Anywho, back to my words.

Moist.  Um, ewww. Things shouldn’t be moist.  They can be wet, damp, dewy even.  But moist?  Please no.  The only thing that is allowed to be moist is baked goods, and only because I can’t find a more acceptable word to replace moist with in that circumstance.

Panties.  It just sounds dirty.  And “moist panties” may be Chris’s favorite phrase in the world.

Milk.  Say it slowly.  The way your tongue starts to leave your mouth as you say it just seems like a gag waiting to happen.  Ewww.

Succulent.  Not sure why.  I just know that I don’t care for it.

Crotch. (I’m starting to notice a pattern here.)  It just isn’t a good word.  It sounds vulgar and rude almost.
So, basically the worst sentence in the world is…

Bob took a sip of milk while drooling over the succulant, moist, panties he had stolen from that girls crotch.

I have to go vomit now.

(And speaking of vomit, why isn’t there a prettier word for vomit?  Puke, upchuck, hurl, ralph, etc.)

Budget Cuts

Most of you are aware that Jenn has been mostly unemployed for the last year.  This makes money a hair tighter than when she is employed as unemployment just doesn’t pay the same amount.  While we are enjoying her having all this wonderful time off, we do have to make some changes in our lifestyle to account for this tiny gap in income.

So…while we are seeing a doctor who is monitoring my drug use and ovary/follicle sizes, we will be doing the actual inseminating at home this cycle 🙂

I was nervous about it at first.  But we have talked with another couple that has done the same thing.  B even offered to be on speaker phone with Jenn to “walk” her through it.  After turning a thousand shades of red and telling Jenn there was no way in hell that my vaginal canal would be broadcast over speaker phone (yes, I am aware that speaker phones only transfer sounds, not images) I shared that embarrassing story with Lyz.  Her response?  Well that isn’t fair.  I wanna be on speaker phone too.  I guess I’ll just put it on webcam and broadcast it to the world??  I’ll be back with the link to that later (not.)

Years and years ago when Jenn and I first started talking about baby making, Lyz bought us a turkey baster.  Now every time I use that turkey baster (for its actual purpose thank you very much) I laugh.  B mentioned that Jenn would probably want to get one of those miner lights that goes on your forehead.  It would make it easier to see what she is doing and she wouldn’t have to hold a tiny flashlight in her mouth.

When Jenn shared her excitement about being able to purchase this light with Lyz, Jenn also worried that we might not be able to find one.  Lyz and Chris were kind enough to offer us one of their huge outdoor lighting systems that they use for backyard parties.  Thanks.  I think my neighbors might wonder why my bedroom was lit up like, um, I don’t know what.

Sunday afternoon I was sitting with Joni and Jenn’s mom at Jenn’s softball game when 99 Red Balloons started playing on my phone.  Lyz asked where we were in the game, the never ending 4th inning, why?  Stay there, we are on our way.  We have something for you.  I could hear Chris laughing in the background.  This cannot be a good sign.  Chris laughing??  It has to be something that will embarrass me, or the like.

After the game (lost by a lot to a very rude team) we walked with CLAD to their car and Chris had us turn our backs so Avery could hand us our gift….

Oh my word. Is that not the coolest, most thoughtful, not to mention practical, gift ever???   Thank you CLAD!!!!! The sides of the hat say “Explorer”. This may or may not have led to a few dirty jokes in our house.

So…trigger shot tomorrow morning. Insemination Friday. Fingers, toes, everything but my legs are crossed!!

Babies and Baseball…the two are more related than you may think.

Over dinner last night, Lyz, Jenn and I were talking about our usual subject. It seems that all conversations end up being about pregnancy and loss. Lyz was sharing a story about a conversation her and Chris had over lunch.

Chris and Lyz had been talking about stats. Since Lyz had had five pregnancies that led to two live births, her stats aren’t that bad from a baseball point of view. Almost .500 Chris says. In answer Lyz asked him why then is he so cranky after a softball game where he only bats 2 for 5? “Softball and Baseball are two completely different subjects” was his retort.

This conversation hung out in the back of my mind through the rest of dinner. It did take a backseat during the movie. (Don’t get me started on the movie. I still get angry about it, so you would have to listen to me rant for a long time.) As a side note here, I did get my shot during the movie. Thank you all for your help.

When we got home (and I had stopped complaining about the movie) our dinner conversation came back into my mind. I mean Lyz is two for five right? And Avery was her first pregnancy. So she had her three loses knowing that could carry a baby full term and hold it breathing later.

Me? All of my pregnancies have ended in loss. I’ve blogged before about Albert Einstein’s quote “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Is trying again insanity?

Sure, I tell “dead baby jokes” all the time. I get mad when Jenn or Lyz don’t laugh at me. K and I tell great ones to each other. One’s that I wouldn’t share with Jenn and Lyz lest they beat me with wet spaghetti noodles. I want to laugh about it. I want to make it look on the outside not as painful as it is on the inside.

But, let’s be serious here. I’m batting .000. Honestly, practically negative. We have ourselves a little team of angels watching over us in heaven. And I have killed them all. Don’t start on me with the “you didn’t kill them” bit. I’ve heard it a million times before. I did kill them. It may not have been by choice, or by anything I did (although if you ask me, I can list seven million things I did wrong), but it was me and my body that killed our babies.

The voices in my head have been getting a little loud lately. In fact I’m texting Lyz right now because I have myself convinced that I hurt her feelings somehow because the voices said I did. But what they are loudest about, is that I am planning a murder.

Yes. You heard me right. What makes me think, that if I do actually get pregnant, that I won’t just murder this precious life too?? My “batting” average is .000. I can’t hit the ball. If I was playing on a baseball team I would be sitting the bench. Should I just bench myself?

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again? That doesn’t seem right. Where do you draw the line? When do you decide that you have gone far enough, or have gone too far?

This does not mean that I am calling off this cycle. I am too bloated with drugs and have already spent the money. I can’t not try this cycle. But I am curious? If you were in my shoes, would you be planning your next murder, or would you move on?

Needles are easier to accept when you have friends.

I do not love them. In fact I don’t even like them all that much. Lyz had asked last week what time we were planning on doing them…8pm each night. So the first night I text her at 7:55pm “Hi”. She calls from her other phone at 8:01pm and starts blabbering about nonsense. The amazing thing is, she never got my text!! She just knew to call me and distract me from Jenn coming at me with the needle!!

The second night we were out for a drive and she called. “You are in the car aren’t you?” “Yes” “Well how am I supposed to call and pretend I just have stuff to ramble about when you aren’t even doing the shot at the right time” I called her back when we got home and even supplied that evening’s nonsense subject.

Tuesday night she had her monthly Bunco game, so I excused her from her nightly call. It was no fun without her. So I ignored the fact that Jenn was preparing the shot by playing on the laptop and Jenn had to maneuver around my arms and the laptop to shoot me. It was funny.

Last night I was sitting in my spot with my phone in hand. Jenn was sitting on the couch with needle in hand. I would not let her near me. I knew Lyz would call. at 8:06pm her ringer sounded on my phone (99 Red Balloons in case you were curious) and she says “I’m too late aren’t I?” No, of course you weren’t silly!! I never gave up on you!! She even had the world’s best excuse–they were taking a bath! They haven’t had hot water in forever and finally got the hot water heater replaced last night so her and the girls hopped in the tub!

Now that you have read my dull life and how I rope my friends into catering to my every need, I need to rope you all in too!! Friday night at 8pm when I am supposed to be getting my shot, I will be sitting with Jenn and Lyz watching Harry Potter. Lyz and I took a vote, and we should still do the shot at 8pm in the middle of the theatre. Jenn says no. She is convinced that someone will think that she is giving me some kind of illegal drug. Really?? Who is going to be paying attention to my flabby belly when… I can’t say. What if someone reads this who doesn’t know how it ends. Let’s just say who is going to be paying attention to my flabby belly when they are supposed to be reaching for their kleenex box??????

So…please comment telling Jenn to give me the shot at the movie. If you disagree please ignore this post and do not add any fuel to Jenn’s fire. Lyz says that if we do get pregnant this cycle we should name the baby after a Harry Potter character. I’ve been begging for Jenn to let me name a future daughter Bellatrix forever!! But, I guess I’ll have to settle with knowing a cat by that name!!