Sunday Morning Ritual

Jenn used to joke that her church was ESPN and her god was the Swami. A few years ago I found my own “church”. PostSecret.

I sign on each Sunday morning and laugh at some of the cards, get tears for others, and nod my head in agreement at many. I found one this morning that simply made me smile:


See, Harry rocks.


My favorite Christmas book

There are some spoilers contained in this post. Should you want to read the book yourself and not have it spoiled, please go pick up the book. It will take you less than 45 minutes to read it.

It is called The Christmas Box, by Richard Paul Evans. From Amazon:

Self-published in paperback during the Christmas season 1994, Evans’s first novel quickly gained national media attention. Now the cleverly told tale, which the author reputedly wrote for his daughters and which revels in sentimentality, is available in hardcover. The story relates how a young couple, Richard (who narrates) and Keri, accept a position to care for a lonely widow, Mary Parkin, in her spacious Victorian mansion. As Christmas draws near, Mary becomes anxious about Richard’s obsession with success and his failure to make time for his family. She urges him to reconsider his priorities, but he is always too busy to heed her advice. It is only when Mary is on her deathbed and her secret sorrow is revealed through the letter-laden Christmas box of the title that Richard realizes what she has been trying to tell him. The message concerns love, of course, and the strings Evans pulls to vivify it should squeeze sobs from even the stoniest of hearts.

After researching it this morning it appears that I must have read it before it was officially published. Evans self published it in 1994, and that would have been the first Christmas I read it.

I read it for the first time in many years last night. It took on a whole new meaning to me. Thanksgiving of 1995, my Aunt Kari, Jennifer (not my wife) and I went to the Salt Lake City Cemetery to visit the angel statue mentioned in the book. At the end of the book you learn that Mary lost a child, a daughter. She would write her daughter letters every Christmas and take them to Andrea’s grave.

I didn’t know in 1995 that in 2007 I would lose a child of my own and know some of the pain Mary felt. I still have the picture of me laying the white flower in the angel’s arms. Someday I will smarten up and attach the picture to the book so that it doesn’t get lost.

Jenn knew last night when she handed me the book (after I had lost it in the house somehow). She asked me why I was going to torture myself. It wasn’t torture. It was comforting. It made me feel connected. Made me feel like I knew 15 years ago how important the loss of a child is. Before I ever knew the real pain.

Deep Thoughts, by Heidi Mingo

I’m currently reading two books, at the same time. This is not normally something I do. It isn’t because I can’t, I can totally keep two plots separate, it is because one is too deep so I need the other for some occasional fluff.

So I guess I’ll start by thanking Amy. I first met Amy out in Idaho. I like to introduce her to people as “the girl who once made me think I was going to get arrested in the back of a pickup truck.” Jenn has been doing odd jobs at Amy’s family’s house this Summer for some extra income. Amy sent home with Jenn a copy of Tori Spelling’s book sTORI Telling. At the time I was out of books to read, having finished two new vampire dramas and a book about kids with wings, so I picked up the book and read it. In 4 hours. It isn’t by any means a moving autobiography, but it was a great read. Quite entertaining and slightly eye opening.

So when Jenn took me to the bookstore the other day (to celebrate the unemployment extension going through) I saw Tori’s second book Mommywood in the discount bin. Picked it up right away. I also picked up Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.

When we got home I picked up Eat Pray Love first. I figured with all of the vampire/werewolf/kids with wings books I had been reading, I should start with the more thought provoking book I had purchased. Yes, I realize that I am way behind the times and that every single book club in America has already devoted many a night to reading and discussing this book. It is even a motion picture now. But it just arrived in the discount bin ya’ll. I made it through about 8 beads/tales/chapters, and had to put it down. I was crying on the inside. Gilbert had already said so many things that had hit home and made me pause to think about me, who I am, who I was, and who I REALLY want to be.

Now I’m not typically a mainstream reader. Yes, I adore Harry Potter, Twilight and the Southern Vampire Series (and now add in the kids with wings series), but I always put off reading them because I didn’t want to become another number in the herd of cattle. Same with books like Eat Pray Love (such as all The Girl With______books, and anything Oprah tells us to read, although I have read Anna Karenina) But I didn’t start reading any of these books until years after everyone was done talking about them. I joined all the bandwagons late so to say.

Now I totally wish I would have read Eat Pray Love while everyone else had. I kinda want to talk about it. But it is going to take me forever to read it. I read a few beads/tales/chapters and then I go back to Mommywood. It is just too much to take in all at once. In fact, before I really talk to anyone about it I want to finish it not once, but twice. I plan on going back with a highlighter and making and taking notes to the lines that scream out to me the loudest.

I’ve been telling Jenn I want a meditation corner since we moved. I have a feeling that Eat Pray Love is going to actually make that happen.

(and I still have the song from the title of my last post stuck in my head, I think it is going to drive Jenn insane here shortly)


Why on earth didn’t someone tell me this sooner???????

I am a facebook addict. In case you aren’t one too, some background information. Along the right side of the screen they put little advertisements. I’m not sure how they “know” me so well. I often find advertisements for clinics that do ivf, or how to lose weight. My favorites are all the ones that say “Are you 32 today? If so you’ve won a SEVEN MILLION DOLLAR WALMART GIFTCARD!” I guess they don’t know me as well as I thought, I hate Walmart. Make that advertisement for Target and you just might have a deal.

Last night while I was playing (Countrylife if you must know) I looked over and saw one that said “Having problems getting pregnant, we can help you in one month.” I have to admit I was intrigued. Do I know that it is utter bs, yes. But I was writhing in pain from the gym (20 mins at 2.7 speed with 1.5 incline on the treadmill, 20 minutes of weightlifting and an hour of deep water aerobics–go me!) so I had nothing better to do with my time.

Click here if you really want to know how to get pregnant in less than a month.

It is a set of books. Books that promise:

  • To get you pregnant even if you suffer from both male and female infertility (how many people suffer from both?)
  • To get you pregnant even if you have blocked tubes.
  • Get you pregnant holistically.
  • Get you pregnant even in your late 40’s

All of this without the help of drugs, IUI’s or IVF’s.  In three months 27 out of 35 women were pregnant!!  Amazing!!

I will also admit that I almost bought the book.  Not because I believe any of the 16 success stories (I mean, I’m sure they are all true, but I don’t believe this book got them pregnant), but because I am simply DYING to know what someone can put in a book to get me pregnant “with healthy babies”.

Oh wait, it isn’t JUST a book.  There are six bonues.  Plus, purchase now and you get a free month of therapy!!!!

Awesome.  Cause I’m gonna need that damn therapy once I realized I wasted $39 on some paper.

Gone with the Wind

I can remember from a very young age watching Gone with the Wind with my mother.  Everytime TNT would air it we would settle in for the long haul to watch my favorite movie of all time.  I remember watching the making of it and being so excited to be “invited” behind the scenes.

I cn remember the internal battle I had of if I wanted to grow up to be Scarlett or Melanie.  Melanie was so sweet and kind and caring and loving and forgiving!!  But Scarlett was so beautiful and strong and carved her own path in life!!  I think I ended up with a nice mix of both.  But I would sure rather have Scarlett’s 17 inch waist than Mammy’s.

I have even decorated my bedroom with some Gone with the Wind memorabilia.  I think I’ve done it tastefully, but I tend to go overboard and tacky with things so I may have gone overboard with this too!!

But, did you know I have NEVER read the book.  I have several copies of it.  The paperback I have looks like it has been read a million times.  I have tried.  But I just can never make it through the whole book without giving up.  It is almost nothing like the movie!!  Scarlett isn’t even described as pretty in the book!!  Gasp!

I’ve read Scarlett and Rhett Butler’s People and I love both dearly.  The movie Scarlett left much to be desired.

When we left for the cabin with CLAD I had just finished the books I have of the Southern Vampire Series and needed something to read.  There on the shelf lay my paperback.  I am determined to read the whole thing.

It is 1024 pages long.  With the teeny-tinest writing ever.  I am currently on page 764.  This is the farthest I have ever gotten into the book.  I will finish it.  For someone who loves Mrs. Scarlett O’Hara Hamilton Kennedy Butler so much, it is a shame to never have read her whole story.