But will the anger ever stop??

In the last two weeks, two friends of friends have lost their babies.  One a set of beautiful twin girls, the other a handsome baby boy.

And while I grieve for them, I also find myself getting so tense and angry.

I know there was no bringing Blue back…buy why did they have to steal him from me all together??  Yes, the above two families have lost their children also, but I am so jealous of them for knowing what they looked like.  For being able to show pictures.  For that one thing my jaw is so tightly clenched right now that I fear it may never open.

Blue was technically considered a miscarriage.  Is it wrong that I tell people he was born still??

I’m rambling because I am at work and if I don’t get this all out of me I will cry and scream and throw a rage right here in the lobby.

If I could have just seen him.  If.  That is what it is all about isn’t it, the ifs?


6 thoughts on “But will the anger ever stop??

  1. No, it’s not wrong. The way they handled it is.

    You deserved time with Blue, all the time that you and Jenn needed and wanted, and it was terribly wrong for you not to have that.

    Something was stolen from you, and it’s right to be angry.

  2. There are no words of comfort…
    I am thinking of you and Jenn and Blue and am so sorry for all you have lost.

  3. It breaks my heart to think of how Blue’s birth was handled. That was such an important moment and you and Jenn deserved so much more than what you were given.

    You have every right to be angry.

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