Spermified

Yesterday was IUI day. On Thursday when Michelle called I asked “Will it be you on Saturday?”

No, I’m sorry. ( I proceeded to curse enough to make a sailor blush after hanging up the phone with her.)

I hate Dr. F. with a flaming passion. Can’t stand him. He is a moron and sometimes I really do swear that I know more about this whole process then him.

Yesterday, he gets me up in the stirrups (with my pretty mismatched sockies), puts in the speculum, proceeds to screw it to my inner thigh, ouch!! Then he sprays the cervix with the saline, and cleans it off with the gauze.

THEN HE TAKES THE SPECULUM OUT.

Any idea what’s missing in this process?? Um, did the freaking doctor just forget to put the sperm in my uterus????? Seriously??

After wonderful lab tech Amy pointed this out to him he giggled and said “Well in 20 years I’ve never done that before!”

Maybe Jenn and I make him really nervous because he knows we can’t stand him. But seriously, forgetting to put the sperm in may be the dumbest thing I have ever encountered.

And in case you were curious, when he put the speculum back in, he managed to screw it to my inner thigh yet again. Ouch.

*****And to all of you who answered my Contest correctly, not one of you left me your email address. Here’s mine–heidimingo at gmail dot com. Email me if you want the prized recipe!!*****

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A contest.

I’ve gotten several requests for my Grandma’s Tomato Soup Cookie recipe. But you see, it is a secret family recipe handed down from generation to generation and I just don’t know if it is fair to spread the goodness around. I mean these cookies are just totally awesome and if everyone started making the same cookie then they might lose some of their supreme awesomeness. So….. I shall have a contest. Winners are anyone who correctly identity’s the following photo.

Without heading over to my flickr site, or checking the properties of this photo, or cheating off of someone else’s answer, or any other means of cheating please identify the location of this photo.

It is one of Jenn’s and mine’s favorite places in the world. We go here when we need a few moments of quiet reflection, and never take the dog.

(Leave your email addy in your comment so I can send you the recipe if you are right!)

GOOD LUCK!!

Williamsburg, VA (August 24-27, 2008)

This will be long so grab yourself a comfortable seat, a mug of hot chocolate and pretend you are reading a good book!!

Sunday-Traveling day
We left Lyz and Chris’s house around 6:30pm. We got about 5 miles into the trip and made an exit from the highway. A mini-van had driven past us with a stroller attached to the roof, reminding Lyz that they had left theirs at home.

Driving was smooth for the most part. Jenn only got panicked once. The cure was to read the directions to her. Chris had borrowed a friends Tom-Tom so Jenn was just driving blindly behind him. Once I started telling her what was next, she was perfectly fine.

We had dealt with very little traffic the whole trip, until 7 miles before our destination. That last 7 miles took us well over a half hour. While sitting there I kept staring into the trees certain that Big Foot was going to come out of them and eat us all. He had very obviously set up a road block in front of us so that he could trap himself up a loverly snack. Yes, I’m odd, but you were already aware of that weren’t you?

Monday-Water Country USA
We met at 9am and headed down to the hotel lobby for breakfast. The two things that we required in a hotel were free breakfast, and internet access. They failed us at both. Yes, they had internet access, but only in their lobby. I wasn’t a fan of sitting on their couch browsing the internet so I just let that go (Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to not play on a computer for 3 whole days??????). But the breakfast, ick. Three old blueberry muffins and a pile of white toast. Cheers!! Of to Mama Steve’s Pancake House we go. Seriously, I think in the two miles surrounding our hotel there were at least 20 pancake houses. Breakfast was good, but the chocolate milk tasted like stale butt.

We piled back in the car and started following good old Tom-Tom to the water park. He promptly told us that we had reached our destination as we pulled up to William and Mary college’s Sorority Row. Yes, a great destination for Chris and Jenn, but not exactly what we were looking for as our day of fun. After telling Tom-Tom that he was wrong, we arrived at the park, towels in hand and ready for a day of fun!! We played in the wave pool, took a couple of tube slides, and then I was forced to face one of my fears.

When I was 17 we went to a water park in Utah. I went down a slide called something like “The Shotgun”. It was great! You pretty much went straight down and landed in a pool at the bottom (it even came with a free enema!). Big fun right! I screamed the whole way down (I love a good rush like that) and stood up at the bottom waving to my friend. Then I took a step and almost tripped myself. I looked down. There around my ankles was my entire bathing suit. It seemed that the pressure of the water shooting you down the slide ripped my bathing suit right off my body. MORTIFICATION I tell you. I vowed then and there never to go down another water slide again. But Chris wanted to go down some water slides and Jenn didn’t want to go (she’s afraid of heights and we had already made her go down one that you had to climb 7 flights of stairs to get to), Lyz can’t do them being pregnant, and well Avery just isn’t tall enough. That leaves me. I did it. Chris chose the blue side in honor of our dear little Blue! I kept my bathing suit on and all my body parts stayed inside!! Yeah!

I shall pause here and tell you something about Lyz. She loves a good fall. She cannot stop laughing if she witnesses someone falling. Her mother once fell down a flight of cement basement stairs and Lyz couldn’t even stop laughing to check and see if mom was okay (she was, no worries).

While waiting in line for lunch Lyz walked back to our spot by the pool to get some stuff. Avery and I got bored of waiting so we thought we would go reserve a table. The only way out of the line was under the cattle shoots. (You see where this is going right? Are you laughing already, I know Lyz is) I grabbed hold of the bar, walked my bare wet feet under it, and squatted down to go under. My right foot slid on the slippery floor and bam, down I went. Jenn and Chris said I did it quite gracefully, but I can’t see how that is. I am not a small girl. Avery and I walked to a table and waited for Lyz. When Lyz came to meet us I told her the story and she was so mad she missed it.

While we had been waiting for Lyz two women approached me and asked my about Blue’s tattoo. The one lady thought maybe it was Avery’s, but I explained that it was for my stillborn son. This is the first time I had ever really talked to a stranger about Blue. The woman gave me the one armed hug and told me she’d say a little prayer for me that night. I got a bit teary, but held it together for Avery’s sake.

After lunch we spent quite a bit of time at the Hubba Hubba Highway (I’ve got a loverly bunch of coconuts), which is so much fun. It’s like a lazy river, but faster!

We had a blast playing at the water park. I spent all day without my glasses on and was worried that would cause a nasty migraine, but it worked out well! I liked my bathing suit (I haven’t worn one in years, when we are in Florida I just wear shorts and a tank top to the beach).

On the way home following Mr. Tom-Tom (who has a very feminine voice by the way) Chris suddenly pulls over to the side of the road. We thought Tom-Tom was giving odd directions again until Chris flies out of his seat and to Avery’s door. Pulls her from the carseat, sets her down on the side of the road and pulls down her bathing suit bottom. I can hear Lyz laughing so I call to see what’s so funny about Avery having to pee. Apparently instead of telling everyone she had to go she just started screaming “FIELDS FIELDS!!” My goodness that kid cracks me up. (for the rest of the trip every time I had to pee I’d say “FIELDS FIELDS”.)

We went home, got showers, got dinner and everyone fell into bed exhausted!!

At the waterpark (didn’t take many pictures, my camera is afraid of water!)

Tuesday-Busch Gardens
We again met at 9am and headed to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. Then straight to the park. When we got there it was pretty quiet so Chris and I (again, me being the only other person in the party that could/would ride the big roller coasters) ran (well, walked really fast, again, I’m a big girl, remember?) straight to the Griffon. I was nervous that I wasn’t going to fit, but Chris reassured me that his brute strength would get me on that ride, and it did!! We were able to ride twice before Lyz, Jenn and Avery caught up with us. Then we rode it again while they went and got seats for one of the shows. Chris and I rode most of the big roller coasters. I’ve missed them. I love them. I love the loops and the force and the screaming. There was one where you went in circles in the dark and Chris has this scream that he uses to terrorize Avery and he kept doing it in the tunnel cracking me up!

Me and Chris on the Griffon (we are in the back row, 4th and 5th from the left)

Then we rode the Alpengeist. It’s an old roller coaster that you climb into car style. As I climbed in my shoe got caught on the “door”. In order to not fall flat on my face into the car I grabbed onto the shoulder restraints to catch myself, promptly locking it in the down position (can you hear Lyz laughing???) I was basically laying across the cart with my head hanging out the other side and all I could hear was Chris saying “How are you gonna get in now?? You’ve locked it in the down position!!!” Really? Not here let me help you up??? I knew he was only plotting the best way to tell Lyz the story when we got back down to the ground. In all honesty, I am very grateful for Chris, I would not have been able to ride the rides without his help.

Jenn got to ride one with just Avery and her while Chris and I were on something else, and Jenn totally bills that as her favorite part of our trip.

Lyz’s knight in shining armor coming to rescue her:

I know there was something else funny that happened, but it’s not coming into my head……. Oh well!!

Down the road from our hotel there was a BBQ joint called Red, Hot and Blue that had two pigs on the front of it playing the guitar. Every time we drove past Avery would yell “Rock and Roll pigs!!” So we headed there for dinner! We were hoping that they would have a tee shirt or something that we could purchase for Avery to make sure the Rock and Roll pigs lived on forever, but the didn’t. I ended up drawing one of her very own:

After dinner we were all exhausted so we headed back to the hotel and to bed.

Wednesday-Williamsburg
We went to IHOP for breakfast and then went to a few little places that we had passed and wanted to stop at. The Trading Post a little tourist trap type place and Yankee Candle (way cool in my book!) We even got to dip our own candles!!

Candle Dipping

Then Chris found a bounce place for us to take Avery to since it was raining. It was fun!! Jenn even went down a slide (please stay tuned for the video performance).

Then we headed to historic Williamsburg. The poor place didn’t stand a chance with us. Our feet were tired from all the walking at the water park, and through Busch Gardens. Lyz had said that she didn’t know what to tell Avery to entice her out of bed. On Monday she said we have to get up to go to the water park, Tuesday to ride the rides!! But what do you say to a 2 year old about Williamsburg?

We walked a bit and I have to say the part that I liked the most was the garden. (I stole a green bean off the vine, it was yummy). We walked, walked, and walked some more, but our poor little tootsies were so tired. Finally we realized that we were pretty much just walking from bench to bench to rest our feet. It was raining a bit so we hopped on board the tour bus, did a loop and headed back to the car.

Help!!

Jenn loved this plant watering contraption:

Now there were three things I wanted to do while in Williamsburg. Actual Williamsburg (which you just read bored us all to tears), Yankee Candle (Whoo Hoo something Heidi wanted to do that everyone actually enjoyed!), and Williamsburg Pottery. What a freaking let down. Talk about crusty. Ick. I was afraid of it, and didn’t really even want to get out of the car. It looked like it was once a beautiful place, but now it just looks run down and ghost-townish.

We decided after the disappointment of Williamsburg and the Pottery place that it was just time to head home. We only stopped once for FIELDS FIELDS and made it home in 4hours and 10 minutes (knocking 49 minutes off the suggested Mapquest time!)

Now, some things I learned on my trip.

  • There was never a Korean War. It was a conflict. A CONFLICT. Got it? And don’t even get me started on Vietnam.
  • Peppers do not grow on trees.
  • Green beans do not grow under ground.
  • What does an owl say??? What What.
  • Big Foot will not come out of the woods to attack me, but I should start scanning for dead bodies instead.
  • This is a not a dalmatian, it is a cowmatian:

Thanks for a wonderful trip everyone!!

Ultrasound Day

One good sized follicle on my right ovary, and one gigantic one. Michelle says the gigantic one is too big to count, but that the one looked perfect. I’m awaiting on bloodwork to see how we shall proceed. I am assuming we will trigger tonight and then have IUI Saturday morning. I’ll update if it changes.

I will post about our vacation tonight after I’ve uploaded all of the pictures. We had a blast!!!

randomness

*Tubs
The other day at the evil store I hate to admit that I shopped at, Jenn and I needed some new Rubbermaid tubs (We use them as luggage) and hark!! What did I see but a beautiful PINK one. Well, several beautiful pink ones, buried in the middle of blue ones. Poor Jenn, I made her dig them out. Have you ever tried to pull apart a large stack of new tubs like that?? Not easy.

I laughed at her, but she wouldn’t let me help, or didn’t like the way I helped or something.

*Socks
Sara sent me a beautious set of mismatched sockies and I wore them to my ultrasound, IUI, and Clomid check. Without washing them. Don’t say ick to me, football players go whole seasons without washing their underwear. I can wear the same pair of socks 3 times for less than a total of 45 minutes and not get icky feet.

Seen here on ultrasound day.

*Tears
Last night Jenn was walking up the stairs and said “Look what came in the mail today!” It was the New Holland fair booklet telling us all the rules and whatnots for their different competitions. I said “OH OH OH I wanna bake cookies!!!” Jenn said “You say that every year.” To which I replied “Well, this year I’m going to do it, maybe if I win a blue ribbon they’ll give me a baby.” And promptly started bawling. I couldn’t stop. What a silly thing to respond and what a silly thing to not be able to stop crying over. But honestly, in that moment, inside my head it was like that was the whole reason that we don’t have a baby. Because I didn’t enter my Grandma’s tomato soup cookies into the fair. Sigh. I’m crazy. (Yes, I am, but its okay, I like to be somewhat crazy)

*Um,
I know I had more random thoughts to ramble on about, but I don’t remember what they were so ya’ll are gonna have to wait for another day to hear me ramble. xxoo