Confidence

The other day I was standing in front of the hotel chatting with jennLynn before she left work and a woman walked past us to go check in. I turned to JennLynn and said:

Why am I afraid to wear certain clothes? That woman is larger than me but is able to pull that outfit off perfectly. The one difference is confidence.

And I decided to go get me some.

Yes, my arms are flabby. Yes, I have this strange belly thing going on because of my weightloss, it just hangs there all ugly. Yes, part of my neck is hidden by a large second chin. So? I’m still beautiful.

My eyes are bright. They may not be the same shade of blue they once were (I have a theory on why, but I will share that another day) but they are large and bright. Add a little eyeliner and they become brighter and sort of mysterious.

My smile is typically front and center. I’ve never really been a smiler. My teeth are a little crooked, and my smoking and tea addictions have yellowed them a bit, but I still smile. To the point that I actually have smile wrinkles.

I like my freckles. I even like the little mole on my nose. I like the shape of my eyebrows (when I’m making time to get them waxed regularly).

I’ve found that super dark hair suits me. I remember telling Lyz last year that I wanted to dye my hair black. She was a little nervous. I went halfway instead and dyed it black cherry. It was awesome. A few nights ago I dyed it a blue black color. Lyz and I agree that it’s the best color I’ve ever had.

I have some rocking cleavage. And I’m not afraid to show that off at all. It distracts from the lumps and bumps I shouldn’t have.

Twice this week I have left the comfort of my home in tops that have no sleeves. I’m not sure what to call them…glorified tube tops? Tops that don’t cover my shoulders at all. All that was on my shoulders was my bra straps. And you know what? Me and my confidence…we rocked that shit.

My one friend Kerry took one look at me, a huge smile burst onto her face, and she said “Heidi, you look amazing!”

Last night we went to Skyler’s graduation party. I rocked the same look, different shirt (bought two of them). Elissa’s mom told me she’s never seen me look so comfortable in my own skin. That means a lot seeing as there was a time when Elissa’s mom really didn’t acknowledge my existence.

Confidence ladies. Be proud of who you are right now. Yes, you can work towards losing a little weight, or finding the perfect hair color or cut. But right now, in this moment, love you and your body for who you are. Enjoy yourself every day.

You won’t see me in a bikini anytime soon, but expect to see a lot ore off and my friend confidence!!

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