Other than my precious CLAD+J the number one thing that got me through Jenn cheating on me and leaving me for the other woman was music. In all honesty, I could not have asked for a better set of music to be playing through those first few months.
- First and Foremost-Adele. While I don’t wish a bad breakup on anyone, I am so thankful that she went through a bad breakup so that she could write everything I was feeling into wonderful songs. My two favorites are Someone Like You (sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead) and Rumour Has It (she made your heart melt but you’re cold to the core). I’m going to throw in her version of Make You Feel My Love (you ain’t seen nothing like me yet) as another favorite. I’m sure you all know her most for her hit song Rolling in the Deep (Don’t underestimate the things that I will do).
- Another group sings a song called Rolling in the Deep, but that wasn’t their song that helped keep me afloat. Linkin Park came out with a song called Waiting for the End (waiting for the end to come, wishing I had the strength to stand, this is not what I had planned, it’s out of my control). Now, this isn’t the most uplifting of songs, but the words so very much spoke to me. No, the screamed to me. “I know what it takes to move on. I know how it feels to lie. All I wanna do is trade this life for something new, holding on to what I haven’t got”.
- F**k You, aka Forget You-Um, hello!! Perfectest song ever!!! “Allthough there’s pain in my chest I still wish you the best with a Forget you!!”
- Bruno Mars-Grenade. “Tell the devil I say hey when you get back to where you’re from.” “Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash.” Yup, good song.
- Christina Perri-Jar of Hearts. Awesome song. One of those songs where I could post every single lyric and they would all apply 100%. Some Highlights: “I learned to live half a life” “You’re gonna catch a cold from the ice down in your soul” “It took so long just to feel alright, remember how to put back the light in my eyes. I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed, cause you broke all your promises.”
Really I could keep continuing on. But I have a moral to this story. There was also one song that absolutely sent me into a downward spiral every single time it came on the radio. Avery loved the song too, so I would dry heave quietly while it played. I would dig my fingernails into my palms and pray that no one would notice the tears streaming down my cheeks.
Wednesday afternoon I heard the dj announce that song would be playing next. I didn’t change the channel. I wanted to see just how far I have come. The song played. My stomach didn’t flipflop. There were no tears. As a matter of fact, I sung along to the song, word for word. I have come so far. I am amazed.