Midnight

I’ve got a little cold. Nothing bad, it is just annoying.  All day at work I dreamed of bedtime.

Here it is. Bedtime. I cannot force myself to sleep. I can’t even have my nightly cry session. My brain won’t stop.

There are things going on that I can’t talk about here. Things that are running through my head with spikey heels causing me pain. Pain that I can’t even cry about.

I am so tired of feeling like I finally have a grasp on things, like I am finally in control, just to watch everything crumble. Just to watch myself crumble.

This time it was two great months of freedom. It is my fault really. I opened my big mouth and said I was glad all that was behind me. Then yesterday…boom…I guess there was a u-turn.

I’m sorry I’m so vague. I don’t mean to be, but I do have to talk about it, but cannot explain. Does that make any sense? Sadly my after midnight texting buddy is sleeping. Damn job making her go in at 4am.

I’m also sorry for any spelling and grammer errors. It is midnight and I am doing this on my phone, without glasses!

Okay…putting on a movie. Setting my alarm. I’m going to try again to fall asleep.  Goodnight!

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3 thoughts on “Midnight

  1. Miss Heidi you are hereby directed to have ANOTHER u turn back to a better place! 🙂 Hope you can talk about it soon. HUGS.

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