~Five years ago Jenn and I bought the Pathfinder. A month later I purchased a University of Michigan license plate. It never made it on the Pathfinder. Last week I put it on Emma Lee. All by myself.
~Friday night was Delmar and Roxanne’s (Chris’s dad and step-mother) big family wedding reception. I had no intentions of going as it was going to be at Nanny’s (Chris’s grandmother) farm. You know, where the Christmas Tree Farm is. But I decided to go and face my fears. Looking into the office window and seeing the desk where Jenn and new girlfriend sat together, and where I sat with Jenn believing life was happy sucked. I was amazed by the pats on the back and looks of love. I was told many times that I look wonderful, and happy. My tears were wiped away and I was supported and it was a beautiful wedding reception.
~I have seen Nanny 4 times post-Jenn. Each time she has asked me if I am still living with Chris and Lyz. I told Joni that I don’t think Nanny likes that I live there. It wasn’t a shock to me because I knew that Jenn was Nanny’s favorite out of the two of us. No, Joni said that Nanny is worried about me. She hated being alone after her husband passed away and became depressed. She wants to make sure I am being taken care of. An 86 year old Mennonite woman not only accepts my lesbian-ness, but is taking the time to worry about me. I love Nanny even more now.
~I realized last night that CLAD will be out of town June 19th. Thinking of Blue day. I immediately made plans to spend the weekend at K’s house. K is planning things to keep my mind busy while still keeping Blue in our thoughts.
~I am doing lots of things that I haven’t done in years. Silly things like not having any of the preset channels in my car be country music. I smile each time I do something that would have been frowned upon or complained about or gotten me an eyeroll. It is very freeing.