In pictures, videos, and some commentary.
**please know that permission was granted by the people you are about to laugh about for you to laugh at them. They (Lyz and Joni) are curious to know who made you laugh more. This post will tell you what kind of sick people we are that we are laughing at each other so much.**
So, Avery spent the night in my room Tuesday.
It has been very hot here lately, and Avery is a mini heater, but I didn’t care. After not seeing her since Thursday morning, I didn’t care at all about the heat, her kicking, her need to lay on top of me. I was just thrilled to have her with me!
In the morning, Delaney came and joined us. Joni was coming to pick Lyz up for her back surgery. Just a minor surgery involving 5 Valium, some vicoden, lots of needles and the freezing of some nerves. Okay, maybe not so minor, but it only takes an hour. With in five minutes of Delaney joining Avery and I in bed we were all covered in Captain Crunch (dry).
I flipped on Bubble Guppies (shocked aren’t you??) and went downstairs to grab myself a drink (Lyz delivers breakfast for the girls to my bed, but not me, Humph!! Totally kidding Lyzzypoo). My phone rang. It is Lyz?? Weird??
Lyz: My mom just totaled her car.
Me (brain working in overdrive convinced that totaled the car means that Lyz is calling to say goodbye to her daughters):OH MY HECK!! Are you okay?????
Lyz (remember, very high on drugs. VERY high on drugs):giggle giggle giggle, yes, we are fine. I’m trying to send you a picture but it won’t go through!! Can you come pick us up in an hour??
Me (sighing with relief): Yeppers.
Picture finally comes through:
Joni had hit the gas instead of the brake and ran right into the handicap pole. Yes, us sick-minded people find this funny, now that we know everyone is safe. We are all very proud of the way that Joni handled herself. Typically Joni would have had a royal conniption fit. Nope, her biggest concern was the fact that she couldn’t get Lyz out of the car, the passenger side door wouldn’t open.
An hour later (that involved getting myself and the girls dressed, chasing Riley around the backyard and house to get her in her crate, another bag of spilled Captain Crunch and a screaming Delaney who didn’t want to leave Bubble Guppies) the three of us went to go get Lyz and Joni. We then went to pick up Joni’s rental car, and visited Silvie (the wrecked car) at the tow yard. All my darling drugged Lyz could talk about was how hungry she was, and how she really wanted El Rodeo, which wasn’t open yet. We settled for Bob Evans.
Delaney went to town on some chocolate chip pancakes. The child never eats. We have to beg and plead and make deals to get her to eat anything other than mac and cheese, cake and chicken nuggets. It seems Lyz wasn’t as impressed with Bob Evans:
She kept falling asleep at the table:
There was much laughing. Much. At one point I looked up to see her trying to feed her hashbrowns to her neck. Joni kept pulling Lyz’s plate a few inches away at a time, which really confused poor Lyz!!
Once we got home we put Lyz to bed. Normally, the girls and I would head outside to jump on the trampoline or play on the playground, but um…
Outside wasn’t sounding that exciting. One of Avery’s friends came and picked her up to go to the pool, so Delaney and I decided we would fill the pool in the backyard. We only lasted a half hour in the baby pool. Delaney looked up at me and said “Hot” so we went back inside to watch some movies.
Once inside Lyz asked for a fresh ice pack and some lemonade and Delaney and I went up to deliver them. Delaney spotted Chris’s pretzel bag on the nightstand and grabbed them and went back downstairs to eat them up (okay, so we can add buttermilk ranch pretzel pieces to Delaney’s diet). I got Lyz settled and went back downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and Delaney looks up at me, while standing in the midst of a puddle and says “Meme Pee!!!” Oh joy. I go to scoop her up and Riley starts drinking from the puddle. I squeel and shoo Riley away, carry Delaney over to the couch to change her out of her swimsuit and see a large pile of pretzel pieces in the middle of the floor. (Current clean up count-4-Captain Crunch x2, pee, pretzel pieces).
Delaney and I watched some Spongebob, played a few puzzles, contemplated making dinner, were saved by Joni calling to say she was bringing dinner over, and then it was time to change Lyz’s ice and deliver her pain meds. Delaney joined me again, this time stealing the bag of tortilla chips Chris was hoarding on his nightstand. I asked her to be careful, she giggled. I again got Lyz resettled and started down the stairs. To my utter shock (not) the stairs were littered with tortilla chips. I giggled and said Awesome!! Lyz mumbled “Did you just say Awesome??” No worries Lyz!!
As I finished cleaning up the chips Avery came home. Lyz came down to thank Lisa for taking Avery and we chatted for a bit. Lyz went right back upstairs. When Chris got home a whole new tornado started as Chris and I were convinced that we could fix the air conditioner (it was refusing to cool the second floor, poor Lyz) and Joni arrived to start dinner, and Chris ran out to get parts, and the girls were having a “We’ve been stuck inside too long let’s drive the adults crazy” moment…
Dinner was served, Lyz joined us. Joni makes a totally wonderful taco salad. Should she ever offer to make it for you, take her up on it! I went up with Lyz to get her settled again, Chris left to go do the fields for softball, the girls ran around like crazy fools. As I walked back down the stairs Avery was screaming about stepping in dog poop. I looked at Chris and explained that I had hit my clean-up limit for the day, the dog poop was all his.
Once things settled down, I went to my room to read for a bit. We all met back on the couch to watch some George of the Jungle and then the girls went to bed. I dragged the trash cans out and Lyz had come out to get something out of Chris’s truck. There on the top of one of the trash cans was a picture of Jenn and I.
I picked it up and started ripping it apart. Lyz looked over my shoulder at the picture and said “Wow Heidi, you are half the woman you were in that picture.” I knew what she meant, but couldn’t stop the tears from filling up my eyes. “Yes, I am.” Lyz’s poor shocked face…I could see her scrambling to come up with something silly to say “Well, at least it is the better half!! Cheesy enough for you??” I smiled, “I am half the woman I used to be, both literally and figuratively.”
Chris put Delaney to bed, while I read Harry Potter to Avery and put her to bed. The three of us then met out on the back deck to drink a little and talk. Lyz was coming out of her drugged haze finally. The horribly hot day had turned into a wonderful evening.
For such a busy day, I have to say it was action packed and tons of fun. Thank you CLAD+J for making my life so enjoyable!! I love every minute of our crazy life!!