The other night K and I were talking and she brought up religion. She knows my feelings on the subject. She knows my upbringing, she knows that I currently am not on speaking terms with any God.
Here-in lies a problem. K wants to go to school to be a minister. Reason #3(?) that I know K and I are not a forever kinda couple.
I’ve played the role of minister’s daughter, you know, we are the ones that always go “bad”. Yup, that’s me.
She asked me if I would be willing to give it another chance. Go to church with her one Sunday. She said all of the things that normally make me roll my eyes about how if I would just listen, God would tell me what is going on, what he has planned for me.
I only slightly rolled my eyes.
I really have nothing against religion. I believe that everyone can believe whatever it is they want, as long as their beliefs aren’t hurting anyone other than themselves. I see the social draw that religion has. The church groups, the activities, things like that. I just find it hard to believe that so few religions want me to be happy. I fell in love with a woman. I never intended for that to happen. When I met Jenn I was a seriously religious person. I can remember Jenn and I passing notes during our psychology class that we were evil evil people and were going to hell over what we had gotten ourselves into.
Over the years I have tried again and again to go back to some sort of religion. It started as Jenn not wanting to. Then by the time Jenn got on board with the idea I had decided that I wasn’t speaking to God.
I don’t know what the point of this post is. Other than to say that I am considering researching some form of religion. I have no idea if it will involve a god, or meditation, or shopping. I just know that I am thinking about something. Maybe.