Prepare to Pee Your Pants

Have I ever mentioned that I am a klutz?  That there is not a single athletic speck in my body? I laughed yesterday because the New York Times said that over 1,000 people were admitted to the emergency room last year due to texting while walking. That totally sounds like something I would do. But sadly, if that did happen, it would not be my most embarrassing story. This would:

We went to the gym yesterday. I happily plugged along on the treadmill. My goal was 25 minutes at 2.5 incline with a speed of 2.5 (plus cooldown). I was doing quite well and knew I was going to make my goal. When I had about 3 minutes left Jenn walked by, (having a coughing fit) and said she was going to refill her water bottle and wait for me in the lobby. I was alone in the gym. And amazingly enough I didn’t panic.

I don’t look at anyone at the gym, but I do eavesdrop. I will look at the people on the treadmills around me to see what incline they are using, how fast they are going, and how long they have been going. I was on an end and really didn’t want to know what the woman on my right on the step machine was doing. I looked to my left and saw that that woman was doing 10.5 miles per hour. I was astounded and inspired. Someday I can do that too!! My treadmill went into cool down mode, which I actually find rather boring. So I only did one of the three minutes and then shut it off. I hopped down and headed over to grab some cleanser and paper towel. In my head I said “I really don’t like the smell of this cleanser stuff.”

And then it happened.

My right shoe got caught on the plug wire cover of Mrs. 10.5mph’s treadmill…I tripped…the tripping caused the plug to come out of the wall…which caused the treadmill to stop moving…no, not just slow down, but a complete and swift stop…which caused Mrs. 10.5mph to fall…as she fell a high pitched “OH” escaped her lips…I was able to save myself by grabbing the wall…

I want to crawl into a hole and die. I help Mrs. 10.5mph up and started apologizing profusely. She tells me its fine. I replug in her treadmill and she hops up and keeps going. SHE KEPT GOING!! Me, I would totally have used that as an excuse to not continue my workout.

And of course all of this happened while I was alone in the gym. ALONE. Now, in retrospect that is a good thing. I’m sure that anyone with me would have just laughed and laughed and laughed.

I ran faster than 10.5mph out to the lobby and started hitting Jenn…Get up…we are leaving right now…Why?? What happened??…just get up come on.

I told Jenn the story in the car and listened to her laugh and laugh and laugh. It took me an hour to have the courage to tell Lyz what happened. And even then I didn’t tell her, I just made it my facebook status.

I keep hearing Mrs. 10.5mph’s “OH!” over and over again. I have no idea what she looks like. She was wearing pink and white New Balance’s though. I am so mortified. It didn’t even take me one month for my klutziness to try and kill someone at the gym.


6 thoughts on “Prepare to Pee Your Pants

  1. That’s hilarious! I would not have laughed at the moment because I’d be worried about the woman, but I think the moment she started running on the treadmill again, I’d be doubled over. At least you’ve got a fantastic story to tell. I can just picture this woman telling the story to her friends from her point of view.

  2. That is soooo totally something I would do. we have a 2 story house and I can’t tell you how many times I have fallen up and/or down the stairs (i even broke my toe once)

    My grandmother has always said my favorite word i ouch!

  3. I’m laughing with you and not ~at~ you, right?!?!

    That is freaking hysterical!! Mostly because I see so much of myself in it. I also like to snoop around and see how fast other people are running at at what incline. I have a terrible aversion to the treadmill because I feel so clumsy on it – I know I will have a blow out on it any day now. And if I do? I will certainly not get back up and start running again! That would be like a neon sign from God to go home!!

  4. hehehehe you have made me chuckle so many times today. AS I walked past the treadmills this morning I actully gol’d!!!

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