Questions Answered-Part 1

Question #1

Heidi,

I feel like this is a really intrusive question, but I was wondering if you (or you and Jenn) have ever gone to counseling for your infertiltiy issues and if you have found it helpful at all. We’re coming up on 4 years of ttc and I am really thinking I need some help. I am just realizing how this has permeated every single aspect of my life and I have become so unhappy and bitter.

Sorry for the betatt*. I always think of you as being so positive and having such a great attitude and I want to be like that too.

(this is rebecca from the nob, btw.  Hee!)

Answer#1

Aww shucks Rebecca!!  Rebecca is a wonderful woman who belongs to my online community.  We used to be part of a great little ttc board until there were only like 5 of us (out of ~800) that still don’t have children.

Positive and a great attitude huh??  Jenn is totally laughing over that one right now.  Just kidding.  I’ve been getting better at the whole being positive and having a good attitude bit.  And the reason for that is kinda the same as the answer to your question.

Have Jenn and/or I ever seen someone about our infertility…no.  We did go to a support group once for women who had lost children, and it didn’t really do much for us.  The number one reason I have not started going to a therapist is because I am surrounded by a wonderful support system.  Jenn, of course.  Lyz and Chris and Joni are totally awesome!!  Yes, even Chris.

But beyond the people who I see in real life all the time, there are all the wonderful bloggers out there.  I know that I am not alone.  Do you blog Rebecca??  Even if you don’t, I totally recommend that you head over to Mel’s place.  Mel is totally AWESOME.  While you are there check out two things.  First: The totally awesome LIST OF BLOGS.  In that list you will be able to find other women/couples going through exactly your situation.  If you can’t find someone, than submit a query to #2: Lost and Found and Connections Abound.  Here everyone submits news to be cheered on, or so that everyone can go sit and hold hands with someone who is hurting.

Mel and company is a huge reason why I haven’t needed to see someone.  I know that there are people out there going through the same thing…and LIVING THROUGH IT.  This isn’t to say that there won’t be a time that I might need to seek additional help, but they are the reason I am semi-sane for now.

If you do want to see someone…do not hesitate!  But I do suggest that you find someone that has a good background in infertility.  I have heard stories of women just going to your average run-of-the-mill therapist and coming home feeling worse.  I don’t want that to happen to you!!

I am so sorry that I have to give you this advice.  I’d much rather give you the key to getting a child to go home with you.  Hmmm…that sounds kinda pedophileish, but you know what I mean.  We will get to the end of this road someday and somehow, that I can promise.  And I will always be at the other end of the email should you need to talk.  I’m always happy to pass on my cell phone number too 🙂

big warm hugs Rebecca.

 

*betatt-Bringing every thread around to themselves.  You know, when you are posting a pity party and some witch comes along with a story three times worse than you ALL THE TIME.  Witches.

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4 thoughts on “Questions Answered-Part 1

  1. Having to second the Mel recommendation. I don’t know what I’d have done without that place.

    And hey – without you, either.

  2. Heidi, you are the best! Thanks for the blogs…I will definitely check them out.

    I’m laughing at the 5 out of 800, because otherwise I would seriously cry. It’s so true, but I still miss our little group.

    Thank you for listening (or reading, lol) and caring. I know I would be in a much worse place if I didn’t have you cheering me on and offering support.

    P.S. did you get the Coach coupon?

  3. My online friends are the way I survive each day with my 2 1/2 year and still ongoing fight with treatment resistant severe depression. I first became a part of my group because of a miscarriage (and through someone else in that group, got to know Heidi). If I did not have the support of those girls and the online friends I’ve made via that group, I just don’t know…

    My first therapist, was actually recommended to me by my OB. I don’t know where you live, or what type of services are available, but my OB gave me information on a therapist practice that specializes in women’s and family issues. Such as PPD, miscarriage, infant loss, marital counseling, etc. They also had free group sessions once a month for certain groups. Call your OB/GYN, regular doctor, and do some research on what’s around you to find someone who will really understand.

    (((Hugs)))

  4. Tell Jenn not Dale jr…..oh no….we love Jeff Gordon I know still really love him however I really get a big kick out of Tony Stewart……he cracks me up some of the stuff he does…..lol

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